The Pleasure to...oh fuck off.

BIG BOOTY

Exercise
The Bouffons stuff their butts until they are enormous. They deform their legs by tying the knees together and turn their arms into stumps.

Then they form a chorus. Music.
They have the pleasure to dance the classical ballet or striptease.

Then they have the pleasure to mock avant garde theater. One does an interpretive dance while the other speaks.

Then they pretend to be idiot boyscouts in the forest. ? le Prof explains that boyscouts are idiots who love to help. You can always tell who the idiots are because they are ready to help. Then he laughs and looks at me.

I got up for the exercise. I walk on the stage.

NO THANK YOU.

Again.

ADIOS IMMEDIATELY. CONSTIPATED PLEASURE.


Why do I have to be happy to be on the stage?
Can't I just come on stage and tell everyone to piss off? It would really feel much more honest. "Ladies and gentlemen, I know that you have come here to be entertained. And you expect me to entertain you. Now kindly piss off.

This attitude is not going to get me very far here.

With no doubt, my present attitude is getting me nowhere. I am so bored of being kicked off the stage every day before I can even open my mouth. So if I go onstage and fight to be there, well that doesn't work either. And then the other option is of course for me to go onstage and push wildly to make something interesting happen. God does that get Mr Flop in the room in a hurry.

So what DO I do? Become a factory of pleasure, on could suggest. But the lovely thing about pleasure is that it is NOT a factory. It is not something that can be ordered and produced. And it is not something my little brain can cook up a way to create.

Jesus Christ. I am not an actor with big flashing neon tubes coming out of my asshole. I like libraries and walks in the woods. I hate big parties and can only tolerate dance clubs when I am totally drunk. I like drinking wine and bullshitting about politics or literature. I am boring, Monsieur le Professeur. I am a fucking boring person. I like to read Harpers and listen to the avant-garde radio station where people use a car fender to bang the inside of a piano. I am a fucking elitist bore, it is 100 percent true! I hate having to pretend people are interesting who are totally not interesting and I walk away from them and sit in a corner and do yoga. How do you like that? I do yoga and I like it. I'm a careful, polite, and voila fucking boring person.

End of rant.