Finding Your Clown

We do our Greek Tragedy scene: Orestes killing Clytemnestra.


Le Prof: "Bon. What do we do with them? We don't know what to do with you. You are completely ridiculous. You both enter from the same side of the stage, you come running on in your dress and almost fall. We are all laughing. Not so good for the Greek tragedy. And in this male chorus, could this male chorus look more idiot? Who is the biggest idiot in the chorus? Anyone? "

(Oh shit. He's not even going to work with us.)

Le Prof: "Set up to do it again. We have to wait for my assisstant. While we are waiting, I tell you a story..."

(The assistant returns, he has something in his pocket)

Le Prof: "Give them to the actors."

(We are given clown noses. We put them on and restart the scene. People ask, "Do we play it straight or like clowns?" The prof ignores them and the scene begins)

Clytemnestra (Running on wearing a clown nose): What's that noise? Who is shouting?!

(The entire room explodes in laughter. I'm waiting to make my entrance as Orestes doubled over laughing at this ridiculous clytemnestra).

Clytemnestra: Get me an axe! We'll settle who is master here.
( I run on with my chorus, waving my ridiculous sword)
Orestes: You now! That man has need of nothing more.
Clytemnestra: Aegisthus! My love...
Orestes: Your love. Join him, wallow in his tomb. (This is too much. I forget the lines) Be...faithful...forever...even unto death!
Clytemnestra: Orestes, can you kill your mother? These breasts were wet with the milk that fed you.
Orestes: Pylades, can I kill my mother? (I cannot resist. I thrust my face into her breasts).
Pylades: Remember Apollo, remember the promises you made...(this guy seems to be such an idiot that everyone is howling with laughter).

BOOM
Le Prof: Alors. You have something fresh. It is like a horrible amateur theater done by the 16 year olds. This one cannot remember his lines. This one is a total idiot. This one has a tit problem. You know, at this age there are the boys who always have the tit problems? But it is something fresh, you bring something special to it.
Thank you for finding your clown during the Greek Tragedy workshop.
BOOM